So, where exactly DO you hide a 52-metre-high stone column? The vanishing act of the century!

Crowds of sightseers have been flocking to Trafalgar Square to see where Nelson’s Column used to be. The famous monument is more popular now that it’s NOT there than when it pierced the sky with the cocked-hat head of its famous occupant, Lord Nelson.

‘Where has it disappeared to?’ is the question on everyone’s lips. And no one more so than the Head of London Police, Detective Inspector Oak.

‘The Column disappeared moments after the morning was broken,’ said the Detective Inspector at a press conference, ‘and it’s all hands on deck to find it.’

Many members of the public have been helping the police with their search.

‘One caller had a particularly promising lead,’ said Oak, ‘but on further investigation it turned out that they had spotted the celebrated Shard Building, not the Column of Nelson.’

Detective Inspector Oak gave this message to the public:

‘We are not just looking for tall and pointy objects, there are plenty of those in London. Let me make this clear: we are looking for a tall and pointy object with ADMIRAL NELSON ON TOP!’